Mila Joan,
Two years old, wow! Why does that seem so much older than one? You're a different person than you were last year. No longer quiet and calculating, much more excited and impulsive (like your mother). You're infectious, your laughter and smile are contagious--even when I'm in the worst moods, you can turn it around. Recently, you started doing this nose crinkle thing when you're happy, it's my favorite action done by any human being ever. You're my favorite human being ever.
This morning after I dropped you off at school I was thinking about being your mom. I thought, "is there anyway I would ever give this up?" And I audibly laughed instantly. Everything I do on a daily basis is for you. Briefly I was saddened by the future memory of you yelling at me because I'm "not fair" and "don't care" only to have me respond with the explanation that I live my life to give you the best one I possibly can. I know now you won't believe me. But maybe on your daughter's second birthday you'll think, she REALLY did it all just for me.
Lately the theme has been "what kind of example do I want to set for my daughter?" I've been striving to be better in every way. I want to be stronger, love purer, be more confident, more self-aware, more productive, and be more adventurous. I want you to take adventures with me, with friends, and by yourself. I want you to explore, be courageous, and take risks--especially ones that could result in significant loss. Do I sound crazy? A mother encouraging her daughter to jump without a net? Well, that's the kind of woman I am and I think I'm pretty great (pauses to take a slice of humble pie).
Speaking of Humble Pie and other great bands, lately you only want to listen to the Frozen sound track--and while I love singing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" at the top of my lungs with you, I really hope you move on from that stage soon. If you refuse to open your mind to other music, the first dance at your wedding will surly be to "Love is an Open Door."
Small Girl, the world is here for you. Take care of it, leave it better than you found it, think that way of yourself too and remember there is no problem mom can't help you solve. I'm here for you always, I am your home.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mom
Welp. Thanks for making me boo hoo at work. Give that golden nugget a giant squeeze and a smooch for me. Also, I will happily find someone to do a "Love is an open door' duet with on her wedding day if that's what she desires! Anything for my favorite niece!!
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