My Sweet Mila Girl,
Today you became a one-year-old. I'm sorry that it's taken me an entire year to write you. I've been trying to be conscious about my time with you. When you're awake I sincerely try to enjoy every second we have together. I love taking you for walks around the neighborhood, reading to you, having tea parties and playing in the backyard with you and Jonah. Yet, even with all the together time we share, I'm flabbergasted with how quickly this year went. I can barely remember the small, soft bundle of love that we brought home from the hospital.
This afternoon I stumbled across some pictures of you around five months. You smiled as you enjoyed tummy time on the Baby Einstein Under the Sea Activity Mat that Aunt Josee gave you. My heart ached for that bald lump of cuddliness. So badly I yearned to go home to you, to hold you and smother you with kisses.
When the clock struck five, I scrambled out of the door and was thrilled when I walked into Miss Emily's house and was greeted with your warm smile. When I got to you, you reached toward me with your free hand, pulled me close and buried your face in my dress, not unlike you do to Jonah's thick fur. Being loved by you is so fulfilling.
You consume my heart with love and make me want to fight for every breath. I never want there to be a time in either of our lives when we have to live without one another. You are my sole reason for living, my absolute everything. I hope that you can understand my love as you grow, but if you take after me--like our friends and family insist--you may not be able to, until you are a mother yourself.
Thank you for teaching me what it is to take things slow and enjoy life. Even tonight when we arrived home I took the time to put comfy clothes on both you and me before going outside to play. What's the point in playing if you're going to be uncomfortable? Who cares if we make a little extra laundry?
Tonight your dad and I shared a beer while we watched you play. Jonah danced around you and you laughed as you tried to catch him and eat leaves at the same time. We decided to head down to the beach approach (103rd and Gulf) so you could eat sand instead, you love to eat sand. You also love challenging the waves--even though they occasionally get the best of you. You're not afraid. No matter how many times you've been knocked over by a wave, you've always gone back.
You're so strong. You're wise, determined and independent. You're what a woman in the 21st century should be like. I admire you. I want to be more like you. Maybe when I grow up I will be. In the mean time, I'll keep doing what I'm doing--which, in most cases, is whatever you want to do.
I vow to be the mother you need me to be. I vow to listen and to be empathetic. I will strive to continue to learn and to never assume that I know it all. I pray you will always know you can come to me, for you are my daughter, my blood and inspiration. In my heart you will never be judged, only loved, for I am your mother and with me you are home.
Happy 1st Birthday Mila Joan, I love you to the edge of the world.
Mom
♥A
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